How to Text a Girl You Like: 6 Top Tips

Like it or not, texting is how we communicate today. Are six hour long phone calls that start late in the night and go until morning light, like we see in movies, an actual thing? Well, probably sometimes. But you can only get to that point once you put in the work to establish a rapport with her already. It’s clearly important then to learn the basics of how to text a girl you like.

Dating often starts out by texting the girl you like so that you can build that back and forth. But texting someone has to sound a little different from how we communicate in person or on the phone. With that in mind, here’s how to keep a text conversation going with a girl you like.

1. “Hey, what’s up?” is not how to text a girl you like

The only answer that you’re going to get here is something along the lines of “Nothing much, you?” which will then result in you saying something like “Yeah, same here.” And then the conversation ends because nobody has anything to say anymore because you both established that nothing is going on. Your opening text has to mean something and it has to open the door to a conversation that both of you can contribute to.

2. Open up with something that makes her think you know her

When you send the first text, it needs to be something that can start a conversation, but beyond that, it needs to be something that she can speak to and makes her excited to talk about. Is she a Star Wars nerd? Send her a quick article about the next movie (as long as it’s spoilers free!) and ask her what she thinks about it. 

Odds are, if it’s something she’s passionate about, she’s probably happy to be talking about it and it means something to her that you remembered that she’s into it. It’s even more special to her that you want to hear her opinion on it. People like when people care about what they’re passionate about. 

3. Make sure it’s something that you can speak to

If you send her a video of Ariana Grande singing because you know she likes Ariana Grande/ but you’ve never heard a single song by her before, you don’t have anything to contribute. Sure, she might be happy that you remembered her favorite singer and be happy to talk about the video for a little bit. But she’ll also want you to respond to what she’s saying. Conversations are a little uncomfortable for everyone when they’re very one-sided. If you’re not saying much back, she might think you’re just not interested in the conversation at all.

4. It’s okay to say you disagree but make sure you’re not crossing into mansplaining

If you’re both into something and talking about it, it’s completely okay if you aren’t on the same page at all times. In fact, that’s a good thing. If you’re just saying the same thing to each other, eventually the echo chamber gets really dull. Have a discussion about why you’re not so sure about a new character that she’s into and ask her why she’s into the character. Listen to her point of view and talk about your own. 

But be careful and make sure you’re really listening to each other and having a friendly and equal debate. If you find yourself saying, “actually” a lot, you’re not debating. You’re correcting. No one wants to spend a conversation being corrected on their opinion.

5. Don’t keep going once a subject has gotten dull

Sure, she loves Star Wars, but even she’s going to get tired if it’s all you want to talk about. If a conversation is slowing down, don’t be afraid to switch the topic. “Speaking of Oscar Isaac, what do you think of that new movie he’s got coming out next year?” Make a transition and try something new

6. Get a little flirty and remember that everyone likes (genuine) compliments

She can gauge your interest if you show straightforward attraction. Unless you met on a dating site and you matched with her, she doesn’t necessarily know that you’re talking to her for any reason other than that you want to get to know her (which of course you want to do!).But you also want to reach a point where you can ask her out on a date. 

So, get a little flirty. Compliments are a great way to do it in a more subtle way. Cheesy pick up lines are cute sometimes but only if you’re joking around and not seriously trying to pick her up. Go for a more genuine take and be more honest. 

Show genuine interest and have a conversation that’s about being real and a little flirty. Oh, and this should go without saying, but sexting isn’t flirting. Nobody wants that surprise popping up on their phone. Stick to real talk and follow these six tips and you’ll be striking up great convo in next to no time!